Leather for Two: Wings of Steel MC Page 4

  I stood and narrowed my gaze. “Your ego hasn’t changed I see.”

  “Baby, it’s not ego. As much as I’m pissed at you for leaving like you did, I can’t deny that not one day has gone by when I haven’t thought of you, wanted you.”

  “Screw this, Blaze. You’re not dragging me into that lifestyle again.”

  He laughed and it burned through me. “I didn’t drag you into it before, sweetheart. You walked into the club with eyes wide open. And you left the same way. What I see in you is an old desire. I know because I put it there.”

  I picked up the closest thing I could reach and threw it across the room. He ducked as the vase flew over his head and hit the wall behind him, shattering pieces of glass onto the floor. I brought my shaking hand to my mouth. I couldn’t believe what I’d done. I was angry because he told the truth.

  “Aww, there’s the fiery wench I once knew. See you tomorrow, baby.” He winked and left.

  I stood there long after I heard the rumbling of the Harley fade down the street. I couldn’t believe he could stroll back into my life and turn it upside down.

  Tears fell to my cheeks and I swiped them away. Diesel’s death had upset me. I cared for him once, but he wasn’t the reason behind my pain now. Since leaving Wings, I’d often told myself my feelings for Blaze had only developed from curiosity and loneliness. I had myself convinced of that at times. A simple sexual attraction that had never played out. We had been faithful to Diesel, the man who’d never cared for me, at least not in the way two people living together should.

  I’d jumped haphazardly into the relationship with Diesel. Fell for his confidence and charm. The thrill of riding on the back of his bike made me feel powerful. Being his lady had once excited me. Having someone taking care of and protecting me couldn’t be described. The attraction had quickly faded. My happiness with Diesel had diminished, especially when I found out he couldn’t keep his pants zipped.

  The rush of emotions I had felt for Blaze confused me, and were different from anything I’d ever felt. I had closed myself off from him and everyone and the door opened a little.

  Blaze had always been there for me. Long talks over a beer and pizza. He’d stop by and fix my plumbing or stove when Diesel couldn’t get around to it. Blaze even helped me with homework from class.

  Diesel was as tough as nails and I knew he liked living on the wild side. Part of the thrill for him as a member of a MC had a lot to do with the risk factor. And now he was dead.

  I finally went into the bedroom, undressed, and pulled on my favorite pajamas—which just happened to be smiling penguins. Who needed sexy lingerie when I slept alone every night? I didn’t shave my legs either. I would have if I’d known Blaze was visiting tonight and would end up between my legs.

  I sat on the end of the bed and gathered my scattered thoughts. Blaze was holding the envelope he found in Diesel’s locker hostage. He expected me to come to the memorial.

  What would Diesel have to say to me? If he knew where I lived and he didn’t try to contact me over the years, then why did he have an envelope marked with my name? Maybe it was a letter he’d written long ago, but decided against sending it.

  The night I left him, he’d come home, drunk as usual, and fell into bed. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow. I waited until he was snoring, slipped from the covers, and threw my things into a bag. Then I grabbed the first bus leaving town, which didn’t get me very far but anyplace had been better than where I was.

  I often wondered how Diesel took the news when he awoke. At times, I imagined him doing a victory dance and, at other times, thinking he’d wished he’d done things differently.

  In the end, I had done both of us a favor in disappearing.

  As for Blaze, not a day had gone by that I didn’t wonder how he was. What he was doing. Hell, even who he was doing.

  I had often questioned if one day he’d drive up looking for me.

  And he did today.

  I wanted to wipe his memory from my mind and heart. I wanted to forget. “The past is the past. It’s over,” I whispered.

  That’s not how I felt though. The past wasn’t over because my emotions were still invested. I still wanted Blaze.

  I also knew if he’d touched me longer between my legs, I would have let things take a natural course. Things would have been different if Blaze didn’t belong to Wings. I knew the life expected of a biker chick and I wasn’t cut out for it. He bled the blood of Wings. I wanted a safe and secure life. Things could never be more for us than a wish. Our desires would always hit a roadblock.

  Crawling into bed, I sank into the warmth, but sleep wasn’t coming. I had images of a tall, sexy man in leather embedded behind my lids.

  If he thought I’d cave and show up at the memorial tomorrow, he was sadly mistaken.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Blaze emptied the shot glass and laid it upside down next to the framed picture of Diesel. Members of Wings had come and gone, and only a few were left scattering the bar of the compound. He glanced at the closed front door and rubbed his tired eyes.

  He knew he’d been foolish to believe Rena would come today.

  Deserved him right. He’d held the envelope over her head. It hadn’t been one of his prized moments, but he’d done what he felt was right. He’d do anything to see her again.

  He tugged at his goatee and sat back into the wooden chair. The legs creaked.

  His mind traveled back to the day he’d realized Rena had left town. His chest grew heavy at the memory. Diesel had sworn he’d search the entire country over until he found her and bring her back. Something had unlocked within Blaze. He’d grabbed Diesel by the throat and had him on the floor. Blaze had never been closer to killing a man than he had been at that very moment. If for a second he’d felt that Rena’s life was in danger, Blaze would have snapped Diesel like a twig. Dog and Lucky had dragged Blaze off a coughing, sputtering Diesel. He pulled his knife and took a swing at Blaze, but quicker and sober, he moved and grabbed the weapon out of Diesel’s hand. Blaze had looked at his friend, daring him to make a move, but Diesel knew better. Blaze was younger, stronger and more capable.

  He’d realized Diesel wasn’t in his right mind. He was losing it fast, but Blaze still had a connection with the man through business and the club. Blaze didn’t want to see either suffer. To ensure Rena’s safety from Diesel, they’d made an agreement that neither of them would search for her.

  The pact had almost been the death of Blaze. He’d known from the first time he met Rena that he was in love with her. Not going after her had been the most difficult decision in his life, but he knew it would have been selfish to look for her. He couldn’t bring her back to Wings, and he couldn’t risk Diesel going after her.

  Diesel had become dangerous. The members had seen it. When the time was right, Blaze had climbed his way up the ladder at Wings and Diesel was dethroned. Blaze was initiated as Club President last year, and he’d known Rena was no longer in danger. He had the members supporting him.

  He hadn’t told Rena everything. He wasn’t sure he was ready to tell her that six months ago he’d searched for her address online and found it, and couldn’t believe she’d lived less than an hour away all this time. He’d driven to the small town and parked outside of her house. He’d wanted to knock on the door, had debated what to do, but in the end he decided it wasn’t the right time. She wouldn’t want him, or the lifestyle. Hell, he’d even wondered if she’d moved on with a man who could offer her the dream family she wanted.

  Maybe her not coming today was for the best. He lost his head every time she got near.

  He’d do the right thing though. Rena should read the letter from Diesel. He’d mail it first thing in the morning.

  He started to call it an evening when the door opened. His breath emptied from his lungs when Rena walked in. She looked so small, so vulnerable, standing next to their newest member, Turk, who was the size of a football linebacker. Hell, even Blaze look
ed like Turk’s kid brother when they were standing next to each other.

  He swallowed the golf ball sized feeling in his throat and stood. Although a little wobbly, he stabled himself on his feet.

  She was beautiful. Her hair was pulled up off her neck, but he remembered how long and silky it felt in his hands, on his skin. The tresses were coal black, reminding him of a clear night’s sky. She’d gained some weight since she’d left and had the curves of a penthouse dream. Since he’d touched her yesterday, her scent and the feel of her body remained on him, suffocating him. And now here she was…and he couldn’t see or think clearly.

  ****

  What the hell am I doing?

  Why was I caving?

  Why had I come?

  Curiosity had gotten the better of me. Nothing more. I didn’t come to see Blaze again. I didn’t want to see him. Not in the slightest.

  Nervous butterflies in my stomach made me wonder if the salad I ate for lunch would find its way back up. If being around Blaze wasn’t enough to ignite a volcano of nerves within me, seeing some of the old members certainly could cause shudders.

  Blaze had invited me, so I knew no one would spurn me, at least not outwardly. They would show me respect, if anything, just because they had a fondness and admiration for Blaze.

  I shouldn’t have come, but after receiving a call from an Agent Peterson with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, I needed someone who could give me answers about why I was dragged into this mess. Peterson said he was investigating Diesel’s activities before his death and asked if I’d heard or seen him in the last few weeks. Although the agent assured me they were calling everyone and it was normal procedure, I wasn’t sure whether I could believe him. After telling him I hadn’t seen Diesel in years, Peterson asked that I call him if I could remember anything of importance. The unexpected call had left a sour taste in my mouth. How was I getting embroiled with Wings again?

  A lot of people believed once a person joined a MC, it was impossible to ever fully leave.

  My heels clicked against the cement floor as I made my way through the steel door and into the bar area of the compound.

  The member standing next to me was as big as a house and had an evil look that could frighten a statue. When he’d answered the door and I introduced myself, he’d said, “Yes, I know who you are. Blaze said you’d be here.”

  Blaze had too much confidence for his own good. I wanted to turn back, yet I’d come too far. The man beside me stepped back and motioned for me to enter.

  I wanted to lose the fear overpowering my body. I had finished a bottle of water before I got here hoping to dislodge the dread in my throat and it hadn’t done anything but make me have to pee again.

  Everything looked the same in the compound. I’d never been to one besides Wings so I had nothing to compare it to. In fact, I hadn’t been in here but a few times. The members didn’t like women hanging out and were only invited on special occasions—like a memorial for a member. I pushed my mind past the evening I found Diesel with the barmaid Candy. I didn’t need to roll around in the past any longer. I didn’t care much then and it was too late to care now.

  Several heads came up as I entered. I didn’t recognize them. I scanned the small crowd and found Blaze standing by one of the tables. I stood there, staring. Remembering what he’d done to my body yesterday made my knees shake. I didn’t belong here, but something about seeing him reminded me of home.

  This was dangerous.

  I could lose myself in him.

  I turned on my heel and made it to the first exit door when I felt the tug of warm fingers on my arm. I looked up into pale blue eyes that could have salved every hurt I’ve ever felt. “Blaze.” His name seemed fitting as it flowed from my lips.

  “Where are you going?” he asked, still keeping his hand on me.

  “I-I don’t think I can do this,” I admitted. Lying or pretending I had bravery wouldn’t work.

  “You can’t go now. There are some people looking forward to seeing you again.” He took a short step closer. He reached up and brushed a tendril of hair from my cheek. His tenderness blanketed me. How could a tough man like Blaze be so gentle?

  “Who?” I asked.

  “Miles and Sharp.”

  Diesel and Blake’s closest friends. “Are you sure?” My voice cracked.

  “See for yourself.” He gently guided me back into the room. Before I knew what happened, a man dashed forward and swept me off my feet. His laughter bellowed from deep within his chest, vibrating my body.

  When he finally set me back on my feet, I looked up into the familiar face of Miles. Shiny baldhead, thick mustache and long white, beard, and a large, round belly—exactly as I remembered him. I wondered if he still played Santa for the children’s ward at Christmas. “Hello, sweetcakes. Long time no see.”

  “It’s been a long time, Miles. You haven’t changed at all,” I said.

  He planted his stubby hands on his stomach and patted his gut proudly. “I’ve put on a few pounds. My old lady keeps getting better in the kitchen.” He winked.

  “Well, well, if it isn’t little Bambi.” Sharp had his arms crossed over his chest. He was the complete opposite of Miles. Broomstick thin, Sharp had enough hair that he could have loaned some to Miles and still have more than he needed. He’d aged. Wrinkles surrounded his grey eyes and his pallor edged on crimson red. I wondered if he’d gotten ill.

  “Sharp.” I smiled nervously.

  Sharp dropped his arms and stepped forward. He very gently, and weakly, tugged me in for a hug. I met Blaze’s gaze over Sharp’s shoulder. The fear finally eased from my muscles, but the smile I received from Blaze shook me to the very core. Did I see happiness in his expression? Or was it pleasure in being right?

  “Come and have a shot for an old friend.” Blaze nodded toward the table. Ten dozen or so empty shot glasses were sitting upside down as tribute to a fallen member. An old, framed picture of Diesel sat close by.

  “I shouldn’t. I’m driving.” I didn’t move a muscle.

  “I forgot you’re a light weight.” Blaze’s grin dug underneath my skin, but I wouldn’t let him tease me.

  I skipped my gaze over him. He looked more handsome every time I saw him.

  I had to be careful. All eyes in the place were on me. I couldn’t let anyone see how I felt for Blaze. I wanted to keep my secrets close.

  A cackling laugh bellowed from a table across the room. Through the dim light I saw a woman shift and push away from the chair. Candy. My breath caught as the soft hairs on my arms stood. We never liked each other, even before I found out she was entertaining Diesel. I always believed the woman had a thing for him and wanted to be his lady. If only she’d known that I didn’t care. She could have had him.

  Candy swayed her way to the end of the bar, keeping her black-rimmed eyes nailed on me. I didn’t falter. Although I didn’t have the ‘in’ that I once did here, I wouldn’t let a washed up chick unsettle me. Her scraggly, tri-colored hair reminded me of a rainbow. I could see she still went to the tanning bed every day and had perfected the color of cheddar cheese. Her boobs were no longer high and firm, causing the same commotion everywhere she went. Too many harsh hands had molded them into blobs of stretched skin that reached her navel.

  I remembered Candy telling me after we’d volunteered at a fundraising event, “You remind me of a teenager. Men like tits and ass, which you have neither.”

  There was definitely no love loss here.

  I expected to exchange words with her, but instead she poured herself another shot and drank it down. I knew she performed on her best behavior only because Blaze stood three feet away from me. I wondered if she wanted to throw the glass at my head. This wasn’t the appropriate time for lashing out. An argument would be disrespectful to Diesel.

  Candy spilled herself over one of the drunken men sitting at the bar so she must have finally found someone to take her on as his lady. I was happy for her…a li
ttle. The past should remain history. I no longer had hard feelings, although, I’d steer clear of her while at the compound. Candy’s bitterness was evident in her sneer.

  I stepped up next to Blaze, ready to get this over with. “So I’m here. Where’s the envelope?”

  “You aren’t going to hang out for a while, bid Diesel a farewell?” he asked.

  I shook my head, sending several tendrils sweeping across my cheeks. “No.”

  One corner of his mouth lifted. “Come with me,” he whispered in my ear as he took my hand, lacing our fingers together. Electricity traveled through my veins, upward into my shoulder, but I didn’t resist.

  Walking through the door of the building, I was blatantly aware of his fingers gently squeezing mine. The adrenaline ping ponged across every cell in my body, making me dizzy. I didn’t want to overreact and push him away, at least not yet in front of anyone. I waited until we stepped away from watchful eyes and I pulled my hand from his. He chuckled, but didn’t argue.

  “Blaze, is Sharp ill?”

  “He has cancer but refused chemo.” Blaze looked over his shoulder at me.

  “Oh no.” My heart dropped. Although Blaze had a poker face, I could see a shine in his eyes. “Will he be okay?”

  He shrugged. “Sharp is a tough ol’ turkey. I don’t think he’ll go down easy, but at least he’s choosing how he goes.”

  I followed Blaze through the back door of the motorcycle and repair shop, D&B. Blaze and Diesel had owned it together. He led me upstairs into the small apartment where he’d called home for years. It wasn’t much. Plain, white walls. A bed. A small TV. And a few trophies and plaques from his younger years.

  I stayed in the doorway, not wanting to enter the lion’s lair.

  He looked at me, his gaze narrowing. “Are you afraid to come in?”