The Discreet Cowboy (Cowboys of Nirvana Book 6) Read online

“Sounds very intriguing.”

  “Trust me?” He laid out his palm. At this point he didn’t care that their relationship was taboo or off limits.

  “With my life.”

  She laid her hand into his and he hoisted her up, not in the back, but in front of him with her bottom nestled in the V of his thighs. There was nothing awkward about the situation, not in the slightest. In fact, he couldn’t believe how nice she felt nestled up close to him, and how good she smelled. He hadn’t stopped thinking about what they’d almost shared earlier until Chase had interrupted. That thought should be enough to cause Dade to go flaccid, and although the situation was a thorn in his ass, he still felt a strong draw to Felicia and he wasn’t all that sure he was willing to ignore it. In fact, he wouldn’t ignore it.

  With the faint rustling of grass, and the heavy steps of the horse’s hooves, they moved across the fields. The sun was high in the sky and, although the sun rays were warm, the breeze had a coolness to it that felt good. The slight jostling as he picked up speed made her hips shift and press against his thighs, and his hard cock. He hadn’t wanted her to ride with him just for this reason, but he couldn’t quite deny the fact that he was enjoying himself.

  Her hair caught up in the breeze, brushing his cheek, and he caught a strong whiff of her coconut shampoo. The smell was nice, but nothing like her natural smell, the one that he’d never forget. And he didn’t want to.

  He leaned in close to her ear, and whispered, “You feel good against me.”

  As if she silently agreed, he felt her ease into him, placing her hands on his thighs. His cock ached for release.

  “Here, darlin’, take these.” He handed over the reins and she obliged.

  With free hands, he massaged her shoulders, and she relaxed more. He only grew harder and hotter. He slipped his hands to her breasts and palmed the firm mounds. Through the thin material of her shirt and bra, he could feel her hard nipples. He tweaked them between thumbs and forefingers, rolling the buds, playing with them, remembering that she’d said she had sensitive breasts. He wished he could suckle them. Her back arched slightly and her bottom pressed his cock, sending a sharp desire racing through him. Damn, he had to be careful not to fall out of the saddle. A second time in his lifetime would be unbelievable.

  Following the line of her ribs, flat stomach, to the waist of her shorts, they were loose enough that he could slip one hand inside, finding the cleft between her thighs. She was moist and warm, excited for his touch, which only sent him closer to the edge of insanity. They were crossing a line, but he didn’t care—wouldn’t have stopped if his life depended on it.

  She eased her head against his shoulder, spreading her legs wider, bracing them on the saddle as he slipped two fingers under the elastic of her panties. Her wet juices moistened his fingers as he grazed his knuckles along her soft, silken seam. Sliding one finger inside of her tight pussy, she moaned, jerking against his touch, her inner muscles clutching his digit. He joined the one finger with another, filling her to his knuckles, thrusting in and out, mimicking what he wanted to do with his rod while rolling the pad of his thumb along her swollen clit. Her juices became thicker.

  He withdrew his touch and her whimper of conflict reached his ears. “We’re here, angel,” he explained.

  Bringing his hand to his face, he inhaled her sweet scent, wanting to have the musky sugariness forever embedded in his lungs.

  She lowered her legs and stopped the horse.

  “You’ll have to get down first. Since I don’t have my cane I’ll need your help,” he told her. With anyone else, he would have hated asking for help, but he felt comfortable with her. In fact, at times he believed she saw past the scars and into his soul.

  She slid off and he slid down behind her, actually quite surprised that he landed on his feet and didn’t need to rely on her for much balance. He was getting stronger every day. It was unexplainable how good it felt to know he was on his way to what he hoped was a full recovery.

  “Wow, this view is gorgeous,” she said walking a few feet ahead of him, then stopping and taking his hand, entwining their fingers together. “I won’t leave you.” She smiled and his heart filled.

  They walked together, but only a short distance, then they sat on a grassy stretch of land that was soft.

  “It is pretty amazing. And I get to see it often.” He looked down at their tangled fingers. Although she had small, slender hands, they fit together with his nicely.

  “I think every hand here at Nirvana has a secret place they like to sit and think. Man, when I couldn’t get out on the land, I thought I’d go crazy.”

  “I’m sure that was difficult. Were you in the hospital long?”

  “Yes, and I hated every minute. The docs and nurses were all nice, but when a man is angry at his situation with no way to help himself, he gets angry and wants to be left alone. Everyone becomes his enemy.”

  “Are you saying you were cantankerous?”

  He opened his mouth to answer, but he saw her grin. “Oh, you’re being sarcastic. I was a bear. I won’t deny the truth.”

  She captured her bottom lip between her teeth and he watched her closely. She did this often.

  “I would be a bear too.”

  He shrugged. “No excuse though. I owe a few people an apology.”

  “I’m sure they’re used to getting bed pans and angry shouts directed their way.”

  “I didn’t do either of those things. I just stayed quite, didn’t speak to anyone.” He leaned back onto his hands and stretched out his legs. “So you just graduated, huh? Where do you go from here?”

  “I’ll have to job hunt and see what I can land. Just because I have a master’s in education doesn’t mean I won’t have to start at the very bottom.”

  “Okay, that’s what you might have to do, but what is it you want?”

  “To be a teacher, elementary, where their brains are still like sponges, a place where they still love their teachers. Eventually teaching at a college where they want a challenge—need a challenge.”

  “There’s a great school twenty miles from here.” He didn’t look at her. He wasn’t even sure why he’d mentioned the idea. It just came out.

  Her gaze was on his profile. “I’d cause Chase a lot of grey hair.”

  He shrugged. “Then where would you like to go?”

  “I don’t have to answer that right now, do I?”

  “Nope. Nothin’ is of urgency here at Nirvana,” he said with a wave of his hand. “But I do need to ask, am I a tool you’re using to make your brother angry?”

  “Really?” she snapped.

  “Hey, don’t get angry. It’s only a question. You talk the talk of wanting him to back off, but you keep doing everything to make him mad.”

  “That’s unfair.”

  “No, it’s not. Just like heading into town yesterday, you did it to be rebellious. You could have just told him you were going.”

  There was a long hesitation and he looked at her. “I guess I do have my own special way of doing things, but this is who I am—the real Felicia. I’m stubborn, independent, ready to take on the world. As a kid I wished I’d been born with a penis because I hated how Chase was allowed to do anything he wanted—wear what he wanted, play with the boys, pee out on the land with so much freedom.”

  “You still feel that way?” He lifted a brow, a chuckle in his tone.

  “Not even in the slightest. I’ve grown out of wearing dirty ball caps, oversized clothes and having broken nails. I’m all woman now. I like feminine smells. I wear pink often, and the lacier my bras and panties are, the better. That doesn’t mean, though, that I don’t know how to get my hands dirty, I just like to protect my manicure. You see, I know a girl can have the best of both worlds. She can be tough and feminine too.”

  “You just explained every man’s perfect woman.”

  “Do you know what else I think?” she said.

  “What’s that?”

  “I’d reall
y like to have sex with you. And I know that you want me too. What we shared in the saddle only made me want things more. If I’m pressuring you, now is the time to tell me.”

  The breath left his lungs in one fell swoosh. “It’s a bit risky, but some things are worth it.”

  “I know there’s a chance you could fall hard for me, but you’d see that I’m not the perfect woman.”

  He blinked. “I meant, it’d be risky for our necks. I’m surprised I didn’t get mine wrung yet.” However, he probably could fall too.

  “Sure, I knew what you meant.” Her cheeks turned a pretty pink. “Are you really afraid of getting your neck wrung?”

  She certainly liked to ask the hard hitting questions. “I’d like to keep my position here.”

  “So, you see yourself staying here long term.”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  Her mouth opened, but closed several times. She must have decided not to speak her thoughts. She turned her head and stared out into the scenery. Comfortable silence surrounded them and they sat there for the longest time. On occasion, he’d catch her scent on the breeze and his stomach would twist. Here was this beautiful woman who’d invaded his life like a train wreck. He’d never really been too sure what he’d wanted until she’d barreled into his world. He wanted her—more than his next breath. Never in his life had he ever felt like his cock was his only source of logic. He’d made a promise to Chase that he wouldn’t make things complicated where Felicia was concerned. A buddy pack that left a sour taste in Dade’s throat. He respected his boss, understood his concern for his sister, but when Dade had a lovely, willing woman like Felicia telling him at every turn that she wanted him, well, how was a man to resist the need buried in his balls? Hell, he’d done a pretty good job at resisting the need for the last twenty-five years, but damn, he was about to crack. None of the women who’d been a guest here at Nirvana had come close to enticing him like Felicia.

  Truth of the matter, Dade realized when he started at Nirvana he was the ‘kid’ around all of the rough and tough cowboys that got all of the attention from the ladies. Sure, on occasion, he’d have a woman tell him that he was handsome or adorable. Compared to the other cowboys, he was younger and hadn’t found himself yet. But after the accident, he’d thought a lot about who he was, what he wanted. He’d had nothing but time on his hands. He still wasn’t one hundred percent sure where he was heading at this point, but he knew he’d prosper. He could overcome about anything thrown his way, but resisting Felicia, well, he wasn’t sure that was possible.

  Rightly so, he should tell her they could be friends, but that wouldn’t be following his heart. He faced the biggest challenge of his life, he’d come to a fork in his world and he’d have to make a decision.

  The ride back to the barn was ridden in silence with glances at her profile. She seemed as neck deep in thought as he was.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  FELICIA SLID OUT of the saddle just as a tall, burly cowboy rounded the barn door and stopped in his worn boots. Several expressions flitted across his bearded face before recognition settled. “Well, well, I heard you were visiting. I just got back from a short trip.”

  “Good to see you, Jace. I was wondering where you were hiding.”

  He shrugged. “I had to take care of business back home, but I’m back.”

  Dade stepped up beside her and she noticed the curiosity in his expression. She wondered if he’d heard the rumors that she and Jace had been more than friends? Although she didn’t owe Dade an explanation, she suddenly had an urgency to make sure he knew the rumors were far from the truth of the situation.

  “Hey, buddy. It’s good to see you out and about.” Jace gave Dade a buddy slap on the shoulder.

  “And it’s good to be out.” Dade smiled.

  “Chase get those other hands hired?”

  “I think they’re starting this week. Five more.” Dade shifted in his boots as if his leg was bothering him.

  As the men discussed the ranch and the changes, Felicia compared them, and a few years ago she would have thought Jace was one of the sexiest cowboys she’d laid her eyes on, but looking at them now, Dade won, hands down. He was a few inches taller, had coils of muscle and wide shoulders like a linebacker. Dade’s eyes were an amazing color and changed with his mood. Although Jace could hold his own, there was just something about Dade that nestled deep into her core and made her want to find out what his moves were like in all areas. She’d never wanted a man this much, not just sexually, but to talk to him for lengthy times, share her thoughts, learn more about the things that made him tick. She could easily climb back into the saddle with him and ride, on and on, nowhere in particular.

  “Hey, Felicia, how’s that arm?” Jace’s question drew her out of her thoughts.

  It took her a long second to gain her track of thought. “My arm?”

  “Any better at getting the target?”

  “I’m not sure,” she said.

  Dade took a step back and grabbed his cane from where it was propped against the wall. “I’ve got to get going. I’ll see you both later,” Dade said, dipped his hat and was already heading toward his Gator before Felicia could gather her voice to answer Jace.

  “I haven’t even tried archery since I was here.” She kept her gaze on Dade who was pulling away.

  “I can show you the technique again if you need me too,” Jace offered.

  Dade disappeared in a cloud of dust and she again turned her attention on Jace. “That’d be great.” Yet she wasn’t even sure what she was agreeing to.

  CHAPTER NINE

  DADE WAS RELAXING in bed when he heard the faint sound of footsteps coming up to the porch. He brought his beer to his lips and took a long swig, then placed the bottle on the table. He wasn’t in the mood to see anyone, but there weren’t very many people who’d be sneaking around his place after dark—and this person, well, they were sneaking. By now they should have been knocking on the door.

  Quietly, and thankful that he was barefoot and that the light was turned off, he crossed the room, careful not to lose his balance, although he was a little wobbly. Keeping his head low and listening for any sounds, he didn’t hear a peep.

  The knob shook and he pressed his body against the wall so that he could see who was coming in before they saw him.

  The door slowly came open and, in the blink of an eye, he was taking the shadow by the shoulders and pushing them up against the wall, pretty darn fast when his leg threatened to give out.

  “Shit, Dade. What are you doing?”

  He withdrew his hands from the petite body and flipped on the light. Felicia was looking at him, wide-eyed and pale. “Damn, woman. What are you doing sneaking around here?”

  “I didn’t see any lights on so I assumed you weren’t home.”

  “And you decided to come on in?”

  She slid her tongue along her bottom lip. “I planned to wait on you.”

  He took a step back and sat down on the edge of the bed. He didn’t want to push his luck with his leg. Sometimes when he thought he was stable, his knee would fold and he’d be down on his ass. “Does Chase know you’re here?”

  “I’m over the age of eighteen. I can go where I want.”

  He’d let her keep thinking her words were accurate. “I didn’t expect to see you tonight.”

  “After you took off and left me at the barn, I really shouldn’t speak to you again. That was inconsiderate and rude.”

  “Really? How so?” He stretched his leg and rubbed a kink in his muscle. He’d overdid it today and was feeling the effects.

  “You were my ride, remember?”

  “I’m sure Jace was more than happy to give you a lift.”

  “Are you jealous?” She wrapped her arms around her waist.

  “No.”

  “Yeah, and that’s why your attitude changed and you booked it.”

  He sighed. He was kidding himself if he thought she’d let it rest. “Just as you said, you’re ove
r eighteen. You can talk to whomever you want.”

  “Now if that didn’t sound the least bit defensive.”

  Her eyes sparkled, her lips called for a kiss, and her body that was draped in a short dress begged to be touched, but damn, he’d thought a lot about her, his feelings and the complications she could cause him, and he was fucking confused. “Okay, maybe I’m a bit jealous After all, I think everyone here on the ranch has heard that you and Jace were an item until Chase sent you packing.”

  Her gaze narrowed and he felt the heat from her glare. She threw up her hands in irritation. “And you believed them?”

  He shrugged. “Didn’t think about it one way or another, but not really.”

  “And where does the jealousy come from then?”

  “Probably because a man like Jace is whole and I’m not, at least not yet.” Her expression softened. “Damn, Felicia, don’t look at me like you feel sorry for me. I don’t want anyone’s pity, lastly not yours.”

  Her gaze went to the beer on the stand, to his leg that he was still rubbing, and back to his face. “Why did you walk away?” Her gentle voice made it impossible not to admit the truth.

  “I overdid it, nothing that won’t be better in the morning.”

  “Oh, shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you’re in pain.” She blew a long breath out of the corner of her mouth. “I’m really sorry.”

  “There you go again, giving me that pathetic look.” He hated seeing her pity, hated knowing that he wasn’t back to health. Hated even more that he had felt a twinge of jealousy when he’d noticed how Jace looked at her. The man was Dade’s buddy, and he was a good man, but for the first time, Dade realized that he had feelings for Felicia—the deep kind that took over a man’s every thought. They’d practically come out of nowhere. And this wasn’t how he’d felt for his ex-girlfriend, and he’d been engaged to marry her. There was something very different about the emotions swirling around inside of his chest. He didn’t like it and wished he could open his chest up and drag out those sensations that would only be his downfall.