The Discreet Cowboy (Cowboys of Nirvana Book 6) Read online

  His mind panicked. What could he say? Damn, Felicia would know he’d overheard her conversation. He took a step back, forcing his mind to focus. “I…can’t. I just came to speak to Chase, but it can wait. I don’t want to interrupt breakfast.”

  “Don’t be silly. You’re part of our family,” Kaycee urged.

  He heard another set of footsteps. Reluctantly, he looked past Kaycee and saw Felicia standing a few feet away, her face pale, her eyes bright and her mouth slightly parted in what looked like surprise. Yeah, she didn’t expect him to be within ear shot of her declaration.

  Kaycee followed his gaze and she frowned. “Maybe it’s Felicia you need to speak to.”

  Felicia stepped out onto the porch. “Dade, I didn’t know you were here.”

  He shrugged. “I started to knock when I realized you were all sitting down to breakfast. I didn’t want to interrupt, so I was leaving when Kaycee caught me…I mean…when she saw me.” Damn, hold it together, bro, just a few more seconds. He stepped onto the first step, concentrating on his getaway.

  Felicia was now to the steps. She didn’t say a word, but he could see her pleading expression.

  “Enjoy your breakfast, ma’am.” He dipped his hat, now off the third step and his feet touched the sidewalk. Could this get any more awkward? If Kaycee wasn’t still watching, and now Chase, he’d have turned his back on Felicia and made a quick path to the Gator.

  Dade met Chase’s curious gaze for a mere second, but managed a smile. “Hey, boss. I’ll come back later. It wasn’t anything important.”

  “You sure, buddy?” Chase asked.

  “Very sure.” He threw up a hand and climbed behind the steering wheel of the Gator. It took all of his effort and patience not to slam on the gas pedal and zoom out of the driveway like a maniac. But he was in control, better than he thought possible as he easily maneuvered the cart back onto the narrow lane. He drove, but didn’t see anything. Cord passed and threw up a hand, but Dade didn’t respond. A few minutes later, he spotted Moon standing by the road. She waved too, and it went ignored. He passed the vegetable garden where a group of women were bent over a row, digging in the dirt. One of the women, a brunette who always made it her upmost effort to talk with him, stepped out from the small crowd, waving at him to pull over.

  Dade had no choice but to stop. Now what was her name? Melody? Monica? Monique. Damn.

  “Hi, Dade. I haven’t seen you around much over the last few days. I’ve missed you.” She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth, looking mighty seductive, but it just didn’t do it for Dade. She was pretty enough. She had long hair that hung in a straight wave down her back. She had nice breasts that she showed off in low cut shirts. Her legs looked nice in a pair of white shorts, but why didn’t he get a kick in the pants looking at her? Hell, she wasn’t the boss’s sister, that’s why. This woman was a guest, still off limits, but damn, the other hands didn’t allow that to detour them.

  “You look like you could use a drink, cowboy,” she slurred.

  He growled under his breath. This woman calling him ‘cowboy’ didn’t sound as nice as when Felicia said it. “You’re probably right, Monica.”

  “It’s Monique.” Her bottom lip puckered.

  “Yes, that’s right. I’ve been in the sun too long already today.”

  She took a step forward, shifting her body so that her ample breasts were right close to his face. Through the t-shirt he could see that one of her nipples was pierced. He glued his gaze to her eyes. “Can I ask a little itty bitty favor?” She looked at him through the veil of her long lashes and all he could see was how Felicia’s did the same last night as she reached orgasm. His cock darted awake and he shifted, hoping Monique didn’t take it the wrong way.

  “I guess.” He just wanted to get the hell out of here. Two awkward moments within a few minutes was too much.

  “Will you give me a lift to the dining hall later. Let’s say about six?”

  “Sure. Six. I’ll pick you up at your cabin.” He squeezed his fingers tight on the steering wheel.

  “Great.” Her lips curled into a satisfied smile. “Bye.” She waved and strolled toward the garden, her hips a pendulum that should have erupted something inside of him.

  He let off the brake and headed…where? He wasn’t sure, except that he needed to be alone for a while.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “SO THIS IS where you’ve been hiding?”

  An angel was nearby.

  Dade fluttered his eyes open and looked up at Felicia. She was an instant kick-start to his heart, but he held back. After he’d overheard her tell Chase that she wasn’t interested, Dade had come out to the privacy of the knoll on the north side of the property and spread out on a patch of grass. He sat up, blinking against the bright rays of the sun and he saw her face. His heart then stopped. Just stopped. He didn’t like that she could do that to him. Her blue eyes sparkled and it only angered him. He stood with his cane, then swiped off the backside of his jeans. “What are you doing here?”

  There was a second’s hesitation. “I wanted to see you.”

  “And I wanted to be alone.” Why did her words hurt him so badly? She hadn’t made any promises to him so it wasn’t as if they were connected, but damn, it burrowed deep into his gut that she’d denied him. He would have never denied her. Ever.

  She blinked. “You’re pissed.”

  “You’re real insightful.” He shook his head.

  “Don’t be an ass, Dade. Let’s talk.”

  He chuckled and scrubbed his tight jaw. “An ass? Really? That’s genuine.” He swept past her. “More like the kettle calling the pot black.”

  “Don’t you walk away from me, cowboy.”

  He yanked his hat off his head and turned toward her. “And don’t pretend that I didn’t hear what I heard back at the house,” he spat.

  “I wouldn’t begin to deny my words, but you know why I said them.”

  He took a step toward her, narrowing his gaze. “Yeah, I get why you said them, but it doesn’t make them any less lethal.”

  She swallowed. “What was I supposed to do? Tell Chase that you and I had an amazingly good time last night, best night of my life, and that I plan to enjoy myself with you as much as I can? That’d go over really well, wouldn’t it?” She tapped the toe of her boot against the grass.

  “Well, you did what you had to do. So, let’s leave it at that.” He smashed his hat back onto his head and started toward the Gator, but her hand on his elbow paused him. She came around to face him.

  “Were you expecting me to tell Chase the truth about us?”

  “Lies are like a web. We get caught up in it and we can’t get out. I don’t know what’s best in this situation, but I sure as hell don’t feel any better.”

  “Why were you coming to Chase and Kaycee’s?”

  He shrugged. “Nothin’.”

  “Wait…were you going there to tell him about us?”

  “I was.” He blew out a long breath.

  She dropped her hand to her side. “Without discussing it with me first?”

  “It was on impulse, but at least I wouldn’t have made out like I’m too good for you.”

  “That’s not how my words came off.” She shook her head. Several tresses of hair slipped from her bun.

  “Why are you bothering with me, darlin’?” He intentionally threw in the sarcastic endearment. “I’m not mature enough for you. I’m just a boy trying to fit in around a whole ranch of men.” Anger splashed through his veins like battery acid.

  Pink rushed into her cheeks. Her bottom lip trembled. “I didn’t say that you’re a boy or that you’re trying to fit in.”

  “Angel, you didn’t have to. It was written all in your words.”

  She sighed. “Okay, I probably exaggerated too much, but my heart was in the right place. I meant well.”

  “Oh, you have one of those things? A beating heart. Could have fooled me.”

  She blinked. “That’s un
fair.”

  “Is it? You seemed pretty callus talking to Chase about me. I wonder how you lied through your teeth so smoothly, like the words didn’t hit one hurdle as they honeyed their way across your lips.”

  “For your information, I didn’t like lying. If things were different…”

  “You mean, if I wasn’t an immature boy and could offer you a future, you might just tell Chase the truth.”

  Tears filled her eyes and his gut clenched painfully. Damn, he wanted to drag her into his arms, hold her, forgive her, but he couldn’t. In the long run, he was bound to get hurt. He was a plaything for her, a man she’d drop when her vacation was over. He couldn’t allow his heart to get any more involved than it already was. “Look, Felicia. Let’s just agree to disagree. You and I had a good time last night. Let’s not spoil it by exchanging any more conversation. Okay?”

  “I can’t see you tonight?”

  “I have plans.”

  “On the ranch?”

  “With Monique.” Damn, he should be ashamed. He had no intention of doing anything with Monique except dropping her off at the chow house and taking his dinner to go, but it certainly did affect Felicia the way he’d hoped. She was speechless. He couldn’t allow himself to feel guilty. This was for the best. If he didn’t pull away, he would fall for her, from his Stetson to his heart, into his soul and down to his dirty boots—his favorites that she’d given back.

  No, he wouldn’t fall for her. Couldn’t. Wouldn’t. They had an amazing time, but it had come to an end. The best a cowboy could do for himself was learn when letting go was in the cards, no matter how much he wanted to continue down the dead end road.

  He brushed past her, climbed into the cart and drove away, not allowing himself to look back.

  And later, when he picked Monique up and she was wearing a pair of shorts that skimmed her luscious hips, he took a long look. But, by the time he pulled up to the chow hall, the idea of anything more still wasn’t happening. He wasn’t interested. Not in the slightest.

  “Won’t you come in, too?” She leaned in, placing her red crimson nails against his T-shirt covered chest.

  “Sorry, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  Her bottom lip stuck out. He had a feeling she used that expression to get her way a lot. “You don’t have to worry, Dade. I know how to keep secrets should things get crazy.” She wagged her brows and pressed her large breast against his arm.

  His cock twitched, but that’s as far as it got. Damn, he was broken. This was all of Felicia’s fault. He shook his head. “Really, sorry.”

  She pulled back, her mouth twisting. “You can’t possibly mean this.”

  “I do.”

  “No one turns me down.” Her brows snapped together. She suddenly wasn’t so pretty.

  “No reason for anger, darlin’. Rules are rules.”

  Her face softened some. “Fine. I guess you’re one of those men who follow the rule book.” She rolled her eyes and slid out of the passenger side. “You have no clue what you’re missing out on.” She sashayed her way into the hall and he drove away, shaking his head. He couldn’t count the number of men who would think he was a fool.

  As he started past the bullpen, he noticed that a small crowd had gathered, including Cord and Jace. He pulled up and approached the men who were leaning against the fence, their jaws tight and their eyes wide. “What’s going on?”

  Cord shook his head and sighed. “Chase is going to get himself killed.”

  Dade looked inside of the fence, across the dirt where Chase was standing cautiously, his hands lifted high. About fifty feet away was the bull, Killer Intention, who was rolling his beady eyes and butting his horns against the wooden rail. He snorted and pounded his hooves. “Why is Chase in the pen with the bull?”

  “Damn thing has a hurt leg and he’s pissed at the world. The vet’s coming to take a look at him, but Killer won’t go into the chute. Chase is attempting to pressure him in, but you know that beast does what he wants.”

  The animal was as large as a house and struck up fear in every hand at Nirvana, even Chase, Dade assumed. The only reason why they had the boy was to keep him from being put down after the rodeo was done with him. Killer was different than most bulls. He believed he was human and could exert his dominance. This could result in dangerous attacks on people, if they don’t help him learn his place. On occasion, he liked to show his attitude. Before his accident, Dade had gotten to know the bull pretty well. He’d been fascinated with how he responded and what he liked to eat. Dade found that the beast liked crackers. He even kept a box hidden in the barn. Would they still be there?

  “I’ll be right back.” Dade hurried, as fast as his cane would go, inside of the barn and searched in one of the cabinets until he came across the half empty box of garlic and herb crackers.

  By the time he made it back to the bullpen, he saw that Chase faced the bull who wasn’t giving even a little.

  “Can’t the vet just shoot him with a tranquilizer dart?” someone in the crowd mumbled.

  “Could, but the tranquilizer takes a while to work and can make the bull angrier and more damage to his leg if he thrashes around which could result in him being put down if it can’t be mended. That would be the last resort,” Dade said.

  “You worked with him, didn’t you, Dade?” Cord asked.

  “Yeah, I have.”

  “I remember Killer liked you,” Jace said.

  Dade watched, but as seconds ticked by, Killer was only getting more pissed, and Chase was in more danger. Dade had a few early encounters with Killer himself while he was feeding the bastard.

  Chase shook his head and slowly backed away from the beast. “I have no choice but to use the tranq gun.”

  Dade realized how detrimental this would be. The thumping of his boots hitting the bottom rail, then the dirt as he climbed over the rail sounded loud to his own ears.

  “Hey, where you going?” Cord asked, but Dade kept right on walking toward the bull.

  Killer turned his large head, eyeing Dade with the same animosity he’d been giving Chase for the last five minutes.

  “Dade, what in the hell are you doing? Get out of here,” Chase demanded.

  “Let me try something, boss. I worked with him, remember? I think I know what’ll get him into the chute.”

  There was a long hesitation before Chase grunted. “Don’t get your ass hurt again, hear?”

  Dade wasn’t sure what made him look beyond the bullpen, but he did and he saw Felicia standing by the fence. Fear glazed her eyes and he swore he could see her bottom lip tremble. She looked worried. For him or Chase? Dade had to be out of his mind to think she was worried about his safety, but a part of him hoped against better judgment that she was concerned for him. What the hell was wrong with him? In fact, he believed he was safer facing the bull than Felicia.

  He turned away from her, needing to stay focused. He took the rope from Chase. “Can I get your gloves?”

  Chase slid off one work glove, then the other and tossed them over. Dade slipped them on and secured the rope around his hand. His thigh muscles screamed as he moved slowly, monitoring the limp. It’d been a long time since he’d moved this much without his cane and his body resisted.

  “Come on, boy. What’s gotten up your crawl today?” Dade said in an easy, low tone as he pulled out two crackers from his shirt pocket.

  The bull sniffed and snorted, then struck the ground, sending up a cloud of dust. He favored his hurt leg. Dade could see a wide gash and there was a possibility that it was broken.

  “Yeah, you go ahead and show off, my friend, but I assure you, at the end of this day, one way or another, you’re going to have that leg looked at. Let’s do this the easy way. Whatdya say, fellow?” He held out a cracker.

  Killer kept his beady black gaze on Dade, his nostrils flaring with each inhale. He was no longer pacing, but Dade wondered if that only meant he was focused on how he’d charge and kill him. Killer was a
large son-of-a-gun and could hurt a man with little force.

  Dade slowly, cautiously, took a short step toward Killer. Cracker still held up. The bull wasn’t breathing as hard and he seemed interested in the treat Dade was offering. Once he was close enough, hand out, he dropped the cracker onto the ground. In one bite, Killer inhaled the offering. Dade reached into his pocket for more, taking a short step back, easy and cautious, dropping a trail of crackers. The bull ate. The process was slow, but they were closer to the chute.

  Dipping into his pocket again, he found that it was empty. Shit!

  Killer realized he wasn’t getting anymore crackers. He struck the ground hard with a hoof, like an overgrown baby wanting more treats.

  “Look, fellow, let’s come to an understanding. This temper tantrum of yours has got to stop. You’re going to find yourself with a one-way ticket off Nirvana and into some glue manufacturing company. You’ve been granted a second chance and you’re pissing it away, my friend.”

  Killer sniffed, nostrils flaring, then leaned onto his strong side.

  “You see, you and I understand each other. You don’t care that you’re hurt. I’ve been there and it’s okay to accept help, accept someone into your life that makes things better.” Dade glanced across the bullpen, seeing Felicia still standing there, her skin pale. “We both have something to prove, don’t we? It’s okay as long as we don’t act stupid—foolish”

  Being that Dade was concentrating on Felicia, he didn’t see the change in the bull’s eyes, or the warning as the beast lowered his head. Killer took off at a run and Dade turned his gaze on him, seeing his life flash before his eyes. He closed his lids as he heard the thundering hooves hitting the ground. The sound of the springs of the chute door closing made Dade open his eyes. Leaning precariously, he turned to see a flash of black disappearing through the tunnel as Killer disappeared inside of the barn.

  “Holy shit!” Dade heard someone say.

  Yeah, he agreed.

  ****

  Felicia gripped the fence tightly, not caring if the wood splintered her skin. All she could focus on was Dade, in the bullpen, attempting to talk the beast into going into the chute.