Cowboy is Mine (Cowboys of Nirvana Book 5) Read online

  Something akin to fear twisted her features. “I-I…”

  “What, sweetheart?”

  She shrugged. “That’s an awfully big question.”

  No longer having an appetite, he set his full plate on the glass table separating him from her. “You knew it was coming.”

  She too placed her plate next to his, “Did I? I don’t know what I expected. This has all happened so fast.”

  “You’ve said you wanted a child, children, and I do too, Krista. I want a family…I want you. I want us.” He’d never been more sure of anything in his life.

  She gave her head a fast shake, sending her hair swatting her cheeks. “This is how we have always done things when we’re together. We jump in and never give anything a fair thought, or logical reason. Sometimes I feel like I’m always one step behind you, and by the time I’ve managed to catch up, you’ve already planned everything.” She tugged a tendril of her hair behind her ear. “We can’t live that way.”

  “Okay. If Montana isn’t for you, then we’ll go to Ohio.”

  She blinked. “You’re missing the point.”

  “I’ve always believed that when you know something is right, why wait? I’m certain you and I have made the right decision by getting married.”

  “We’re not teenagers any longer. We’re grown adults, who’ve changed, but then again, maybe we haven’t. You’re still dictating the future, your dreams, and I’m here to support you.”

  “Damn it, Krista! During dinner the other night you made me think you thought this was best for me, for us. You said I needed to follow my dreams.”

  “I did. I want you to and I meant every word. But Dodge, you have to understand where I’m coming from. You have to want me to want dreams too.”

  “Baby, I do. This is for us, so we can start all over. I support your career—love the fact that my wife is damn smart and can write a book. I’ll help you in any way I can, but the Five Rock was always in my future.”

  “I agree, but…but, hell…I’m confused.”

  “Yes, and hear me out. I still love you. I still want this marriage. I want to share my life with you.”

  “And the arguing? My God, we seem to love to fight just to make up.”

  “That comes with the territory,” he muttered. “Just don’t walk away again.”

  “Sure, I did. You might not walk away, Dodge, but you do something that is just as bad. You wash your hands of a situation. You believe sweeping an issue under the rug solves everything. It doesn’t.”

  “Not everything needs weeded and stroked and watered. When two people are together, they fight and make up. Simple as that. We’ve made up, it’s only taken a decade.”

  “And as you say that, do you get how awkward it sounds?”

  “We were both young and stupid when it came to communication.”

  “Where have you been for the last ten years? Most of that time you were here, hiding away in paradise. Did I ever cross your mind? Did you ever think of me when another woman was sliding into your bed?”

  He gulped a dose of madness and humble reality. What could he say in his defense. “I made mistakes…”

  “Yes, but I feel as if I have been one of them.” She stood and walked to the rail. “I never once expected you to choose me over anything—not football, not even your friends. Yet, at some point, I did hope you’d treat me as I mattered as much as those things. If I wanted to be with you, I had to find my place in your world. That wasn’t always easy, I assure you.”

  “I’ve never thought of you as a mistake, Krista. And I certainly don’t want you living in my world. I’m willing to go wherever you want us to go. You don’t want to live in Montana, then you name the place.”

  “And what will you do? The family resort is your home, Dodge. It’s where you belong.”

  “You’re where I belong.”

  She rolled her eyes and it made his gut twist. “I agree that there is still a connection between us, but I’ve been hurt. I don’t know if I had hoped that you’d come after me or what, but the fact is, you didn’t.”

  He stood and went to the rail beside her. “I didn’t know that you’d want me.”

  Her gaze narrowed. “And you weren’t willing to find out?”

  “If I showed up at your doorstep, would you have welcomed me with open arms?” he asked.

  “I-I really don’t know. But we’ll never know now, will we?” she whispered.

  “Are you holding back just because I didn’t come after you? Is that really what this is, or is it that you don’t love me any longer?”

  Her eyes filled with unshed tears. “I can’t say that, Dodge. You’re putting a lot of pressure on me, and I don’t know where I should go, where I should turn.” She stepped closer, their toes touching and she palmed his cheek. “I do know that when we’re close, I can’t breathe. I’m so overcome with you, your scent, your touch, your personality that I’m engulfed. I know that you’re a man who means every word he says, but what about our future? I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t.”

  “I guess that’s fair.”

  She stood on tiptoes and kissed him fully on the lips. She felt so damn good, smelled so good, and he was resistant to her. His heart pounded fast and his gut ached, but he needed to hold her, needed to feel her arms around him.

  He picked her up into his arms and carried her into the cabin, gently laying her in the center of the bed. He lowered his body next to hers and slowly removed her clothes until she lay there, under his explorative view. My God, he loved her more today than yesterday—more than ten years ago. He’d never had much faith or hope in second chances, but if there was a God, then he’d gift Dodge this one present—to have a family.

  They made love and Dodge held her close until he knew she’d fallen asleep. He waited a few minutes, then sat up, carefully not to disturb her. He started to stand when his right foot slipped on something. He grabbed the paper, realizing it was the divorce papers. She had already signed them. Tears filled his eyes and he blinked them back. What the hell was wrong with him? He was a rough, tough cowboy that never cried. He certainly wouldn’t start now.

  He looked from the paper to Krista who was sleeping on her side, her hands stacked between her knees. She looked so at peace, so sweet and lovely. He didn’t want to hurt her, or hold her back. He loved her enough that he wanted her to find happiness, whether with him or with another man.

  She was right, he belonged in Montana. He realized that months ago when he’d first started thinking over the idea. That’s where he’d be the best that he could be, just as Krista told him he should be.

  Only she knew where she belonged. And only she could answer that for herself.

  Leaving Krista’s cabin, he went straight to Chase and Kaycee’s newly built house and explained everything. They both sat and listened.

  “Are you sure this is what you want, bro?”

  Dodge looked from Chase and Kaycee who held little Molly who seemed at peace sleeping in her mom’s arms. “Yes, I’m sure. I’m going home to Montana and helping at the resort. It’s where I want to be.”

  Chase looked at his wife who smiled. “Then that’s where you should be, my friend. I’m just sad to lose a hard worker like yourself. It seems these days I’m seeing more resignations than I am applications.”

  “I want to thank you for the opportunity. I needed Nirvana, and coming here helped me grow into who I am today.”

  “And your wife showed up when you needed her most,” Kaycee said.

  Dodge looked at her and shrugged. “That I don’t know. She needs to figure things out for herself.”

  “When will you be leaving?” Chase asked.

  “Plan to tonight. I’m sorry to do this to you, but if I’m ever going to know what my wife feels, then I need to give her space.”

  Rubbing his jaw, Chase nodded. “Although I hate it, I have to say I understand. You know if you change your mind, you’ll always have a place here at Nirvana.”

  “
Thank you. I appreciate that. I might get to Montana and my brothers and I might not get along worth a damn.” Although Dodge was only teasing, he did worry how they would work as owners of the resort, sharing in responsibilities, thoughts, and communication. They’d always been tough, brawny men, and would have to learn how to listen better.

  So, as he climbed aboard the plane, he sat down in the seat next to the window and closed his eyes. He’d made sure he stayed far away from any chance of seeing Krista before he left Nirvana. He knew if he’d seen her, he might change his mind. Might fall to his knees and beg for a second chance. He couldn’t allow his emotions to get carried away. He knew what he was feeling, understood all too well that he loved her, but he wanted a forever wife and family. He needed to know that if she was ever with him, it was because she loved him.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  KRISTA COULDN’T BELIEVE she was doing this again. She was chasing Dodge, but this time, she hoped she didn’t pass out. That wouldn’t be good at all.

  The Five Rock resort had grown since she’d been here ten years ago. The place was gorgeous, those were exactly her thoughts as she was led down a hall and into Dodge’s office in the luxurious cabin that used to be the main B&B. Now it housed the offices. Several new buildings littered the property and she’d noticed as she’d driven up the narrow lane that new ones were being built.

  Once the kind secretary left Krista alone, assuring her that Dodge would be with her soon, she stood at the large window and stared out onto the lawn. The bright blue sky seemed to stretch forever while the countryside seemed open and welcoming, yet very far from where she’d come—Ohio.

  The resort was a perfect place for getaways and weddings. She could see why the family had decided to expand into elite, country weddings.

  She saw her reflection in the polished window and sighed. Her eyes were no longer rimmed red, thankfully. That’s not how she wanted to see Dodge again after four weeks. She’d cried relentlessly on the plane, remembering how she’d woke up and Dodge was gone, but the signed divorce papers were left right where she’d find them, on his pillow.

  Once the shock had worn off, she’d climbed from bed, dressed and took off looking all over Nirvana for her husband. Although she had been unsure of what their future held, this wasn’t how she’d wanted things to end between them. Hell, she hadn’t even been sure she wanted them to end. She’d just been confused.

  Eventually, Kaycee had searched her out, explaining that Dodge had been with her earlier, explaining that he was leaving. After Krista had broken down into sobs and Kaycee had offered words of comfort, the sun had descended behind the mountains and Krista had finally fallen asleep.

  When she awoke the next morning, she packed and took the first flight home, feeling more miserable than ever.

  Each day became harder as she missed Dodge more and more. She wasn’t eating, sleeping, or writing, and knew there was only one thing left to do, and that was to chase after Dodge again.

  The door opened and she swung on her heel, watching as Dodge walked in. He took off his hat and held it against his chest as he brought his gaze on her. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

  She swallowed. “I figured if I had phoned, you wouldn’t return the call.”

  He shrugged, took a step toward his desk and laid his hat on the corner. “You look amazing, as usual.”

  “So do you.” He looked tired with dark circles lining his eyes and a layer of beard that looked ebony against the stark white collar of his shirt, but he was still the sexiest cowboy she’d ever seen.

  “I’m working nonstop as we move forward with renovations and changes. It’ll be worth it in the end, but we have too many chiefs.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Hell, it wasn’t your genetic contribution that made the Wyatt boys so damned hardheaded and opinionated.”

  “That’s not what I’m sorry for.” She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry that you felt the need to walk away from me at Nirvana.”

  He stared for the longest time then nodded. “It wasn’t what I’d wanted, but it was needed.” His husky voice made goosebumps appear on her arms.

  “It was the worst feeling ever,” she admitted.

  “Hell, don’t I know. Did you find your papers? I wasn’t sure if there was anything else I needed to do? Or if I’d hear from your attorney. I assumed all went through okay.”

  She moved away from the window, crossing her arms over her chest. “I threw the signed papers into the trash can.”

  He blinked and his jaw softened some. “You did? Did you bring a new printed batch for me to sign?”

  She gave her head a shake. He wouldn’t make this easy. What had she expected? “Dodge, I don’t want a divorce.”

  “Neither of us can live like this, darlin’. Ohio and Montana are worlds apart and you were right, this is where I belong, at least for now.”

  “This place is huge.” She nodded toward the window.

  “It should be after the money we’ve sunk into construction.” His voice wavered.

  “Do you think there’d be enough room for one more?”

  His expression was blank, then something took hold and his eyes widened. “One more? I need to know exactly what you’re saying.” He took a step toward her, but not close enough to touch her.

  “I’ve been silly, Dodge. I’ve wanted to hold onto the past when it no longer exists. No, we’re not the same, we’re mature and certain of our hearts. And my heart loves you. So fully, so completely, that without you, it’ll certainly shrivel and die. I look at you and see forever—feel forever. I choose you. I choose us. I hope you’ll forgive me for not coming after you sooner, years ago, when I knew you were the only man for me. If you have changed your mind, now is the time to tell me.”

  He chuckled. “Changed my mind?” He took another step closer. “I’m a man of hope, my love. I’ve set up an office for you just in case you came after me, as I’d hoped you would. I didn’t want the divorce, that’s not why I signed the papers.”

  She met him, tears rolled down her cheeks. “I didn’t want you to want a divorce. I’m glad you were so strong. I’m glad you knew where we belonged.”

  “Always, baby. My heart beats for you and only you. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that you are my one and only.” He dragged her against him, nuzzling his nose in her hair. “Don’t leave me again, promise me.”

  “I promise. Never. I’m here for the long haul. I’m here for our family,” she whispered. “Don’t ever leave me again.”

  “I’m hooked to you at the hip. Wouldn’t want it any other way.” He used his thumb and wiped away the wetness from her face. “We will have a family, sweetheart. As many children as you like, and if you can’t get pregnant, we’ll adopt.” He kissed the tip of her nose, her cheeks and then quickly on her lips.

  “Getting pregnant won’t be a problem,” she muttered against his cheek.

  He brought his chin up. “Why is that, my darlin’?”

  “It so happens that we do pretty good at getting pregnant. I think it was the sexy outfit with the mesh that made you super humanly fertile. Of course, it could have been the quickie…or the barn. That’ll be a story to tell.” She lowered her palm to her stomach. Although she wasn’t showing much, there had been a few physical changes. “I’m very early, but the doctor confirmed the results.”

  He exhaled and he smiled. “I had hoped, I really did.” Then his jaw hardened and he took a wide step back. “Wait, is this why you’re here? Because of the baby?”

  Her stomach fluttered. “I’m here because I love you. More than anything. Whether I was pregnant or not, this is where I belong.”

  With a half breath he was back in her arms, kissing her like a starving man. “It’s been too long. I’ve needed you here, baby. I’m not complete without you.”

  “I’m here now. I’ll never leave. I’ll always love you.”

  “I love you.”

  THE END

  From the author:
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  Thank you for reading. Please leave a review and let others know your thoughts.

  Check out the entire selection of books by me… http://www.amazon.com/Rhonda-Lee-Carver/e/B00CQLXKTO/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1456497552&sr=1-2-ent

  Hugs,

  Rhonda Lee Carver

  At an early age, Rhonda fell in love with romance novels, knowing one day she’d write her own love story. Life took a short detour, but when the story ideas were no longer contained, she decided to dive in and write. Her first plot was on a dirty napkin she found buried in her car. Eventually, she ran out of napkins. With baby on one hip and laptop on the other, she made a dream into reality—one word at a time.

  Her specialty is men who love to get their hands dirty and women who are smart, strong and flawed. She loves writing about the everyday hero.

  When Rhonda isn't crafting sizzling manuscripts, you will find her busy editing novels, blogging, juggling kids and animals (too many to name), dreaming of a beach house and keeping romance alive. Oh, and drinking lots of coffee to keep up with her hero and heroine.

  For other titles by Rhonda Lee Carver, please visit: www.rhondaleecarver.com.

  Find me on Facebook, too! www.facebook.com/rhondalee.carver

  Other books by Rhonda Lee Carver

  Diamond in a Rose

  Double Dare

  Delaney’s Sunrise

  Second Chance Cowboy (Book 1, Second Chance Series)

  Second Ride Cowboy (Book 2, Second Chance Series)

  Second Round Cowboy (Book 3, Second Chance Series)

  Second Dance Cowboy (Book 4, Second Chance Series)

  Second Song Cowboy (Book 5, Second Chance Series)

  Second Burn Cowboy (Book 6, Second Chance Series)

  Second Hope Cowboy (Book 7, Second Chance Series)

  Second Sunrise Cowboy (Book 8, Second Chance Cowboy Series)

  Castle’s Fortress

  Dreaming Ivy

  Friends With Benefits

  Sin With Cuffs