The Discreet Cowboy (Cowboys of Nirvana Book 6) Read online

  “I totally recommend breastfeeding when you have your own kids. I swear I can eat a horse and still lose weight.”

  “Now we’re really moving fast.” She rolled the melting ice cream around the plate.

  “Okay, you’re right. One thing at a time.” Kaycee grabbed Felicia’s hand and practically dragged her out of the chair. “Hurry. I have books left over from my wedding. Pictures and pictures, and more pictures of wedding dresses. I’d say we have thirty minutes before Isabella wakes.”

  Felicia believed her sister-in-law would be a big help, if she could just slow her down a tad.

  Kaycee turned, grabbing Felicia by the shoulders. “By the way, I love Dade. I think he’s a wonderful, kind, sweet man, and I, for one, think the two of you make a great couple. Don’t worry about Chase. He’ll come around.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  DADE WAS BRUSHING one of the chestnuts when he was tapped on the shoulder. He turned to find Dr. Cam Parker. “Hey, doc, what are you doing here?”

  The tall man with dark hair patted the horse on the neck. “Chase has hired me to come out once a week to be available for guests and staff. Looks like you’ll be seeing more of me now.”

  “Sorry, but that’s not what I was shooting for.” Dade liked the other man and Parker was a damn good doctor. He was partly the reason why Dade was as far in his progress as he was. He’d always been good at answering questions and telling it point blank, and Dade respected that.

  “You missed your last appointment so I thought while I was here, we’d catch up.”

  “Yeah, I’ve been busy.”

  “You’re out on the land so the leg’s not giving you too many issues. Glad to see that. Can we sit down and go over some details?”

  “Sure. Let me put her back in the stall. I’ll meet you over at the fence.” After Dade put the horse away, he found the doc leaning against the fence, his boot tucked up on the bottom rail, staring out onto the field.

  “It sure is beautiful here. Chase has made some good changes.” Cam scrubbed his smooth jaw.

  “Well, you’ll get to enjoy the place more.” Dade pounded him on the back. “I told Chase you’d be a great addition.”

  “Thanks for the recommendation. I’m not much of a cowboy though.”

  “Invest in a pair of good boots, jeans and a Stetson and you’ll be fine. No one here will ask you to muck out a stall or lift a bale of hay. The ladies might swoon a bit though,” Dade joked.

  Cam shrugged. “I don’t have time for swooning women. Between my shift at the hospital and my new practice, I’m swamped. Coming out here a few hours a week will break up the monotony.”

  Dade leaned against the top rail and removed his hat, hooking it on a fence post. “You must really want to speak to me to hunt me down like this.”

  “It’s not an emergency, but since you didn’t make it into the office we still have to discuss the last X-ray of your leg.”

  “What’s the verdict? You giving me the go ahead to get back on the land? Back to all of my duties?” Dade’s spine stiffened when he saw the narrowing of Cam’s eyes.

  “I hate to say this, buddy, but the images didn’t look as good as we’d hoped.”

  Dade blew out a long breath. “I feel fine though.”

  “You’ve come a long way in a short time. None of us could have imagined the pace in which you’ve recovered, but it’s not unusual for a man that has suffered your injuries to have a setback.”

  Dade clenched his fingers on the wood, not caring if he’d end up with splinters or a broken slab of wood. He didn’t believe in setbacks. “What exactly is the holdup you’re referring to?”

  Cam hesitated, which only made Dade more anxious. “Looks like you’ll have to be scheduled for another surgery. Some of the bones in the ankle aren’t as straight as they should be. For now, things are fine, but long-term, as in not too long, you’re going to have a lot of trouble.”

  “Hell no! We’re looking at another six weeks of recovery time.” He gritted his teeth.

  “Dade, I’ve spoken with the best orthopedic surgeons and they’re all in agreement that we need to do this now because it’ll only get worse, to a point we won’t be able to do anything to fix it.”

  “And then what happens after six weeks?”

  “The recovery time will be a little longer because you’ll be in a cast for at least twelve weeks. Then physical therapy. Then I have no reason not to believe you will be walking without the cane in six months, working the land, doing everything you’ve set your mind to.”

  Dade rubbed his brows. This wasn’t part of his plan. How could he stay at Nirvana another six months, sitting in the cabin, staring out the window? How could he expect Felicia to still want to marry him? He may never be where he wanted to be in recovery. This was all a shot in the dark, and yet, what choice did he have? He wanted to have full use of his leg and foot, and was willing to walk on water to get that. He’d come so far to stop now.

  “Hey, I’m sorry to bring you the bad news. I wish it was different, but keep in mind, things could have been a lot worse. When you were first brought into the hospital the prognosis was poor. We didn’t know you’d make it out alive, let alone whether you’d walk again.”

  “Look, I don’t want to seem like a jerk by complaining when I, above everyone, know how grateful I should be. I guess I just had my stubborn mind set on something different.”

  “Don’t apologize for being stubborn, buddy. That’s partly what got you through this. You don’t have to decide now. Call the office in the next few days and let me know what you decide.”

  “Doc, would you have the surgery?” Dade trusted and respected the other man.

  “With everything I know, what the surgeons say, yes, I would. This is your best chance of having the best quality of life, a better future. Otherwise, you’re looking at a serious injury down the road and without the use of the leg.”

  Dade soaked up Cam’s words long after he left Dade standing alone by the fence. Damn, he knew the doc was right. Even he thought he wouldn’t make it out of the hospital alive at one point, but pure determination kept him going and at least he had use of both legs, and eventually full use. He’d allowed self-pity to take root in his heart before and it wasn’t pretty, but this changed things, drastically.

  He needed to speak to Chase, and see where things could go from here. Dade couldn’t give up on his future, or Felicia.

  At the administrative offices, Dade walked in and the receptionist, Jennifer, was talking on the phone. She hung up and offered him her ever-friendly smile. “Hello, Dade. How are you?”

  “I’m still kicking.” He leaned against the desk. “Chase available?”

  She leaned in closer. “Enter at your own risk. One of the guests came in earlier and after she left, he slammed his door and I haven’t seen hide nor hair of him since.”

  Dade knew that Chase was never one to lose his temper unless it was something significant. “Okay, well I can’t wait. I need to speak to him now.”

  “Sure go on in.” She waved a hand through the air.

  The door was still closed to Chase’s office and Dade knocked.

  “Come in.”

  Dade opened the door, peered in through a two-inch crack and saw that Chase was standing at the window looking out. “Am I interrupting?”

  “No. Just the man I was needing to see.”

  There were moments when a person knew they were walking straight into a war zone and there wouldn’t be an easy exit, and yet Dade couldn’t help but continue. He had a gut feeling Chase wasn’t happy with him, but it was time to face the fire.

  Dade closed the door and stood in the center of the room, leaning on his cane. Chase remained quiet and statue still, watching out the window. His shoulders were tight and when he finally turned, his jaw was tighter. Oh shit! He knew about Dade and Felicia. He dragged off his hat and held it against his gut. “I have something I need to speak…”

  “And so do I.” Chase
tore a hand through his hair and his lips were thin, dark circles appearing under his eyes. “I had a visitor earlier. Monique.”

  His chest caved in. Oh shit!

  “She had an interesting story.”

  “I can explain.”

  “Hell, I bet you can. But I’m not interested in hearing another lie.”

  “It’s not what you think.”

  “You and my sister aren’t fooling around?” His gaze narrowed like arrows targeting on their destination. “And then you had Monique in your cabin? Damn!”

  Dade crunched his hat under his fingers. “Well, yes, no, but…”

  Chase held up a hand, ceasing Dade’s words. “You either are or you aren’t. You either did or you didn’t have Monique in your place. I remember you and I having this discussion, you telling me nothing would happen between you and Felicia.”

  The oxygen depleted from the room, but Dade didn’t back down. He held his ground. Chase had the capability of scaring a lot of men, even some of the bravest, but Dade didn’t believe he’d done anything wrong. “It wasn’t a plan of ours.”

  “It never is.” Chase chuckled, but there wasn’t any humor. “I’ve heard every excuse under the sun, but I can’t make myself clear enough that the cowboys need to control themselves while they’re here at Nirvana.”

  “You’re acting as if I—”

  “What? Screwed my sister then lied about it? You of all people, Dade. I counted on you. I thought you were different. I set you up here, thought of you as a brother.”

  Dade’s throat constricted. “You’ve been good to me.”

  “And this is how you say thanks? By sleeping with Felicia?” He shook his head in agitation.

  There was no longer any anger left in his expression, only disappointment which ripped through Dade like a hot poker. The last thing he’d wanted to do was disappoint Chase. And yet, he loved Felicia. But what could he do for her? Dade and Felicia couldn’t stay here. They could go back to his hometown, but he couldn’t ask her to do that. And he couldn’t ask her to nurse him through recovery. He couldn’t bear the thought.

  “I quit, Chase,” Dade said.

  Chase’s gaze turned steely. “What’s that?”

  There was no hesitation, “I’m leaving Nirvana.” Pushing his hat back on his head, he turned and left the office.

  Life screwed him.

  He had no choice but to go back home to Ohio.

  His chest tightened and his body ached as he numbly walked outside, not paying attention to Jennifer who was asking him a question.

  Everything he’d worked for, wanted, was all down the drain.

  ****

  “What did you do?” Felicia eyed Chase who was sitting at the dinner table buttering his bread, innocently.

  He didn’t even look at her. “Are you referring to Dade?”

  She took a step toward him, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot dangerously. “Why?”

  He slowly laid his knife and roll down onto his plate, then looked at her. “Do you really need to ask that question?”

  Kaycee, who looked about as shocked as Felicia, sighed heavily. “What’s going on?”

  “Your husband fired Dade! How could he?” Felicia could barely contain the urge to dump Chase’s plate over his head.

  Chase blew out a long breath from the corner of his mouth. “Is there something about the rules of Nirvana that people don’t understand?”

  “Don’t even begin to bullshit me. You did this because I’m your sister. Every cowboy here has let the horse out of the corral in one way or another, and they didn’t get fired,” Felicia said through clenched lips.

  “You fired Dade?” Kaycee was staring at her husband as if he’d grown horns.

  “No, I didn’t fire him. He quit.”

  Felicia almost choked on her saliva. “He quit? Not possible.”

  Chase blinked. “It’s the truth. Monique, one of the guests, came by the office today and informed me that she saw you in Dade’s cabin, while she was in there too.” He moaned. “While I was speaking to him about it, he said he was leaving.”

  She groaned. “You must have said something.”

  He laid his palms down on the table on either side of his still full plate. “I should have fired him, but it wasn’t my plan. Although I wasn’t sure what was going on between you two, I’m also very aware of what people are doing here. Maybe him leaving is for the best, Felicia.”

  She shook her head. “If I don’t catch him before he steps foot out of Wyoming, I’ll never forgive you, Chase.” She turned and stomped off in the other direction, slamming the screen door on her way out.

  “What the hell did I do beyond being boss around here?”

  Kaycee looked across the table at her husband. “You should remember, ‘happy wife, happy life’.” She stood up and walked upstairs.

  ****

  Dade boarded the bus for Ohio and took a seat near the back. Across the aisle sat a mother and her son who looked like he was about five. He was playing with a small fire truck and it fell to the floor. Dade picked it up and handed it back to the kid who stared at him closely. “Are you a cowboy?” he asked.

  Dade smiled. “I guess you could say that.”

  “You have a horse?”

  “I take care of horses.”

  The little boy rubbed his dark eyes. “I want to be a cowboy.”

  The boy’s mom lifted him onto her lap. “Now, Donnie, don’t bother this fine man.”

  “He’s no bother, ma’am.”

  “What’s that?” Donnie pointed past Dade’s shoulder.

  “Hmm, looks like a lady is looking for a cowboy named Dade,” the woman said.

  Dade narrowed his gaze, twisting in the cracked vinyl seat. Standing outside of the bus, holding a sign was the one woman he wasn’t sure he’d see again. Felicia.

  He read the sign, “Looking for my cowboy Dade.” Then she switched signs, “Where you go, I go.” Again, she moved the sign to the back of the stack. The third one read, “That’s what people in love do.” The next read, “And love can’t be easily broken.”

  He sat there, his head reeling and his heart aching.

  “Wow, it seems this Dade is one lucky fellow,” the man sitting a few seats up said.

  “Yeah, he certainly is,” Dade said as he stood, made his way down the aisle and out the door. Once his boots hit concrete, Felicia was beside him, her mouth twisted.

  “You’re so wrong. How could you just leave without saying goodbye? Kiss my ass? Anything?” She sighed.

  He swallowed against the bitterness in his throat. “I didn’t have a choice?”

  “You didn’t have a choice? Really? My brother’s an idiot, but we only share the same genes, not thought processes.”

  “It wasn’t his fault. I quit and it’s only for the best. I got a visit from the doc and looks like I’m facing more surgery and recovery time. I’ll be down and out longer, and I can’t just sit around Nirvana another six months. And I can’t have you taking care of me.”

  She wrapped her arms around her chest, several of the signs dropped to the ground. “People have setbacks, Dade. But that’s all they are, setbacks. They aren’t permanent situations. Are you going to allow yourself to be your biggest obstacle?”

  “I’ve made some pretty rotten choices, but this isn’t one.”

  “Oh yeah? So I mean nothing to you?” She lifted a brow.

  “If you choose me, you might be making the biggest mistake of your life.”

  “Now you’re back to feeling sorry for yourself? Is that it?” She rolled her eyes. “Nirvana isn’t the only place we can live.”

  “It’s where I wanted to live,” he mumbled.

  “So what. I once wanted to live in Neverland. And I survived knowing I’d only get reality. We adapt, we change. We grow, we survive. You need to ask yourself if you’re going to do those things with, or without me.”

  He rubbed his chin. “I don’t have anything to offer
you.”

  “Oh, and somewhere I thought love was enough.” The creases around her eyes deepened and the corners of her lips lowered. She sifted through the signs, tossing them all around her feet until she came to the right one. She held it up, stabbing a finger against the cardboard. He read it, “You suck!”

  She pushed the board into his chest and he caught it as she let go. “Felicia?”

  “I thought you meant it when you said you wanted to marry me, but I guess I was completely mistaken. I see that you have two choices, Dade. You can either be thankful for the things you have, or you can go back to Ohio and regret the things you’ve let go.” She turned on heel and stomped off.

  He heard a moan and turned, seeing that a small crowd had gathered around the bus. The little boy Donnie had his head hanging out of the open window, rolling the fire truck along the side of the bus. He brought his gaze up. “Hurry and catch her.”

  EPILOGUE

  THE SUN WAS setting as Dade and Felicia joined hands and the pastor said, “You may now kiss your bride.” They leaned in and Dade kissed her in a way that only a man could do when he’s completely and totally in love with a woman.

  He whispered in her ear, “Always and forever.”

  “Best choice you’ve ever made.” She smiled widely.

  Yes, she was right, as always.

  They turned and faced the small crowd of friends and family. Chase and Kaycee were in the front row. Isabella was now standing on her own two feet and learning to balance herself. Kaycee was just starting to show the baby bump. They’d announced a few days ago that they were expecting their second child.

  Maverick and Jax were sitting a few chairs back. She held their baby in her arms. A son. Maverick was one of the proudest fathers Dade had ever met.

  The last eight months hadn’t been easy, but he couldn’t complain. He’d had an amazing woman by his side who showed him every day how lucky he was to be alive. It wasn’t often that a man could find a woman as wonderful, who would stick by his side through anything. She’d been the first thing he’d seen when he’d woke up from surgery, and he’d known then, she was a gift from above.