With Honor Read online

  “I’m sorry,” she said through her fingers covering her mouth.

  “How much did you drink, woman?” He stared down at the murky brown stain on his jacket. The thick chunks dripped onto his boots. “Ahh, shit!”

  “Not a drop.” She dug inside her purse. Looking for a weapon? She might be drunk. Or worse, jacked up on drugs. She didn’t seem to be either, but he couldn’t guarantee it. Then she pulled out a wad of napkins. Dabbing her mouth with one, she stuck out the rest for him. “Here.”

  Glancing at the tissue, he huffed. Was she joking? “What will that do?”

  Hesitating, she said, “I’m staying at the Oxford Inn.” She pointed to the motel next door to the bar. “You can use my bathroom to clean up.”

  “Are you sure you’re not afraid that I’ll jump your bones?” Which wouldn’t happen, he mused. Beautiful woman that she was, insane he wasn’t.

  “Sex is the last thing on my mind.”

  Chapter 2

  Jasmine unlocked the door to her room. Shane’s eyes were on her, she knew. Turning, their gazes met and her breath caught. He leaned casually against the wall, powerful and virile, as if he belonged there with her. Did he work to look that cool and composed? Her insides melted. What had she been thinking by inviting him back to her room? Sure, she had puked all over his ABU’s and the odor of the vomit suffocated her, yet she didn’t owe him anything. That should teach him a lesson to not be an ass.

  Pushing open the door, she stepped aside so he could pass. He filled every inch of space with his size, including her available oxygen, making her dizzy. Once the room stopped spinning, she tossed the keys onto the table and slipped off her shoes. “Bathroom is in there,” she said. He came to the room to clean up and then maybe she could get down to the nitty-gritty of why she had come.

  “I'll take you up on that.”

  “Please do.” The smell of vomit wafted underneath her nose as he walked by her. In the logical part of her brain, she realized she should be mortified. Maybe her lack of embarrassment stemmed from Shane's casual attitude about the whole thing. She wondered how other men would handle being vomited on by a woman they barely knew.

  Jasmine listened as Shane closed the door to the bathroom. Rustling sounds drew her attention. Imagining him taking off his shirt made tingles spiral up her body. Her hormones weren’t out-of-whack because he was partially naked on the other side of the wall. In fact, he had nothing to do with her raging emotions. She denied any connection. The water came on. Moving to the far side of the room, she tried to block the sounds of splashing water.

  Once before, she’d given in to her womanly needs, but that could never happen again–not with a man like Shane. Every woman needed to have herself a bad boy at least once. Dangerous men were a rite of passage. He certainly fit the bill. Cocky, self-assured and egotistical.

  The water shut off in the bathroom. Sitting at the desk, she tried several positions on the leather chair until she was certain she looked calm and serene, two things she didn’t feel inside. She took a deep breath just as the door came open.

  He stepped into her view and her heart skipped a beat. How could he do that to her?

  “Better?” she asked.

  “Much.” His smile softened his features. His ABU jacket was gone and he wore a crisp white tee and uniform pants that were wet in spots where he must have wiped them. She refused to stare at his toned arms, broad chest and lean waist. He crossed the room to sit on the end of the bed. “Jasmine, I get that you’re angry because I skipped out after we slept together and then recanted my story with the magazine, but I have a feeling there’s more that you need to tell me.”

  Nodding, she moistened her lips. “There is.” Her throat tightened. No more procrastinating. “I’m pregnant.”

  He went through several expressions, then his face went blank. He didn’t say a word. Did he understand?

  “I’m pregnant by you.”

  The room became so silent that she could hear her heart beat. When she’d given up on him responding, he shifted on the bed and said, “Really? By me?”

  “Yes. You and I…well, the night we had sex, it happened.”

  “What the hell? Aren’t you on the pill?”

  His skin turned pale and she wondered if he’d spew now from shock. “No, I wasn’t.”

  “I always use condoms.” His voice turned gruff.

  “You did. You’re a smart guy. At least I hope so, since I’m having your child, but not all birth control is mistake-proof.”

  Running a palm down his leg, she flinched at the severe look he gave her. “How do you know it’s mine?”

  His words hurt, but she’d expected as much. Getting up, she went to her purse, taking out the folded slip of paper and business card. She handed them to Shane.

  “What are these?”

  “A letter from my doctor stating that I’m eleven-weeks pregnant. There is also his business card so that you can call him with any questions that you may have.”

  Taking the items, he stared at them for the longest time. She’d never have thought a man like Shane Conner could be speechless.

  “I know that this must be a huge shock. I was floored.”

  “There’s no chance you’ll decide to, you know…” He seemed to debate which words to use. “Get rid of it?”

  “No. I plan to keep it.”

  “Okay, then.”

  “Although we did this together, I am prepared to do this alone. The pregnancy was an accident, but I truly believe it’s meant to be.”

  “I need some time to toss this around. Can we agree to meet tomorrow?” He looked like he could fall off the bed.

  “Okay. That’s fine.”

  “You can come by my place around ten.”

  “I can trust that you won’t high tail it out of the country, right?” She hoped to ease the tension with a bit of humor. Her intention fizzled.

  “Lady, I have honor. If I didn’t, I would have walked away the moment you acted like a maniac and locked me in the men’s restroom against my will.”

  “Against your will? Puhleeeze! You’re not the type of man who does anything against his will.”

  Without a word, he stood and walked away, pushing the papers she’d given him into his pants pocket. He disappeared into the bathroom and came back out with his jacket.

  “You didn’t tell me where your place is. I’ve never been there before, remember?” she said.

  He stood at the door, his hand on the knob. Evidently, he was ready to get the hell out. “I live on base. Stop at the guard shack. They’ll let you through. They’ll give you the address.” He darted into the hallway. The door shut behind him.

  “That went well,” she whispered.

  Ready to call it a day, Jasmine moved to the bed and tore off the flowered comforter out of habit. She always brought her own blanket. Making the bed, she glanced back at the closed door. Telling him about the baby had been the right thing to do. Now moving forward was all that she could do.

  Chapter 3

  Jasmine ate a small breakfast of toast, yogurt and coffee in a restaurant across the street from her motel. She stared out the window as two children played jump rope in a patch of grass beside the parking lot. Watching the smiles erupt on their faces, she couldn’t resist smiling too. She’d always wanted a child, or two, but she hadn’t planned to have one so soon, or with a complete stranger. Her doubts were real, no matter how much she wanted her baby.

  The waitress stopped by the table. The woman cracked her gum loudly. “You want me to top off your cup?”

  “No thanks,” Jasmine answered.

  After tossing around in the hard, cheap bed last night, she sure could use another cup, but she’d been making an effort to cut the caffeine. Some days she slept like a ton of bricks, other times she couldn’t catch a wink. Last night she’d been wide awake thinking of Shane. Even after she’d fallen asleep, she’d dreamt of him. Why now? Why after seeing him? She knew why, but wasn’t quite ready to adm
it it to herself. People are attracted most to the one they can’t be with–or know they shouldn’t be with. Could she have feelings for Shane? The idea was ludicrous.

  The deep apprehension stuck with her. In less than fifteen minutes she’d again be meeting with Shane–the father of her unborn child.

  Father. Unborn child. Those were alien words.

  At a cross between shock and numbness, this was a new realm of emotion. Seeing Shane in Florida, not once had she felt a connection beyond satisfying a need. Her sex life had been lacking–by choice. Her female parts had been parched and his offer to water the field had been an offer she couldn’t refuse. A night of forbidden love had been all she wanted and needed.

  So then why the sudden feelings?

  Why did she have a case of unidentified emotions floating around inside her? Was it because they shared something in common now? A child.

  She’d been delighted and dazed when he’d protected her from the earthquake, using his body as shelter. Not every man would do that, but a gentleman would. She wasn’t helpless by any means, but something about his action made her believe Shane could be a man of honor. Still needing proof, she’d know after their meeting.

  Time to get this over with.

  A few minutes later, she drove onto base, and as promised, security checked her credentials, then handed over Shane’s address written on a small piece of paper.

  The sudden urge to look at herself in the mirror overcame her. Her clothes were simple, yet she’d taken a little more time with her hair and makeup. What woman didn’t want to look her best when she was about to talk with a man as sexy as Shane Conner?

  His behavior today would determine where they’d go from here.

  He’d seemed cold last night when he’d walked out of her room. However, she’d seen a softness in him, a look of sincerity in his eyes, that she hadn’t seen before. Question was, would he make a good father?

  Would he even want to be a father to their child?

  Following the street signs, she took the next left onto Eisenhower. The row of cookie-cutter, white ranch-style houses lining the street reminded her of the neighborhood she’d grown up in. Quiet and safe. She found the number and pulled her car in front of a house with a red door.

  Climbing out of the car, she did a quick finger comb through her hair then made her way up the cracked sidewalk. The impulse to run hadn’t affected her until she made it to the porch steps. This was her decision. No one forced her to have the meeting. She could leave and go back to her life and raise their child alone. Being a bright, successful woman, earning a moderate income as a journalist, she could support a baby. Child support wasn’t her motivation–or that she needed mental or emotional support. If she left, she doubted Shane would search for her, although he knew where she lived. Did he even believe she was pregnant by him? So, why didn’t she get back into her car, switch the engine back on and drive the hell off the base and back into her own quiet, secure life?

  She’d opened the can of worms; no backing out now. She owed it to her baby.

  If he told her he had no interest in being a father, she’d walk away, no strings attached. Hell, if she searched her emotions, she probably expected the worst. With a short mantra of assurance that she could do this, she knocked on the red door. The door came open. He met her with a cautious smile and a narrowed eye. Just as she’d figured, he wasn’t happy to see her. Now what? Would they go through the same rigmarole as they had last night?

  He shifted and her gaze slipped over him. His tight black tee fit his upper body, showing off his toned muscles. His worn jeans fit low on his hips and had a rip a few inches above his knee. She had a sudden urge to reach out and touch the exposed skin, betting he was warm and–

  Damn, the man was poison–and virile and tempting. He should come with a warning tattooed across his forehead: Danger.

  “You look like you’re debating whether you should run or puke, and neither is too appealing,” he said with a smile.

  She snapped back to reality and out of his pants–so to speak. “If I’d planned to run, I’d have done it before I knocked. And puking, well, I can’t guarantee your safety on that one.” Honesty was the best policy. Her stomach was a bit woozy.

  “At least you came.” He kicked the door open wider with a bare foot. “Let’s get you in here and closer to the toilet in case you get an urge to upchuck.”

  “Did you think I’d chicken out?” she muttered, not making a move to enter.

  “Possibly, or I thought maybe this was all a joke.”

  “I wouldn’t joke about something like this,” she said.

  His eyebrow went up. “And I’m supposed to know that? I have no clue what your morals and values are. This wouldn’t be the first time a woman lied to rope a man.”

  She straightened her back. “You didn’t question my values while we were naked in bed, did you? A little late now, wouldn’t you say?”

  His expression remained blank, she’d give him that, but the slight tensing of his jaw told her he didn’t have a good comeback. “Shall we discuss this issue here on the sidewalk?” he asked.

  “I’d rather not.”

  Stepping back against the wall, he gave her room to pass. This must be like going into the lion’s den. Only danger lurked in an animal’s lair.

  She glanced around the room, expecting a bachelor pad with mood lighting, big screen TV, beer bottles and whatever else Shane liked. Yet, it wasn’t anything like she’d anticipated. The place was clean. Not just clean, but eat-off-the-floor spotless. From brown leather couch, to the glass coffee tables and wooden floor, everything appeared immaculate. The Shane she’d met in Florida had talked freely of his likes–playing video games on the flat screen, beer and dirt bikes. His home lacked any evidence of the toys.

  “Something wrong?” he asked from behind her.

  Facing him, she started to make an excuse, but decided she had nothing to prove but the truth. “Nice and clean. Surprising.”

  With an amused expression, he said. “Yes, it’s clean. And I do have an inside toilet, I eat with utensils and I bathe.” With a shove of his elbow, the door slammed. She was locked inside. No turning back. “I’m not used to being a gentlemanly host either, at least that’s what I’ve heard, but can I get you anything? A drink? Maybe a new, more flattering representation of who I am?”

  A smile teased the corner of her lips but she pushed it away. “No, but I’ll take a seat if that’s okay.”

  “So, you’re planning on staying a while?”

  Ignoring the quip, she took a seat on the sofa.

  He remained standing, staring at her. She had to crane her neck at a weird angle to see his face and it made her nauseous. He took a seat, not on the couch but the chair, relaxed into the leather cushions and propped his bare feet up on the coffee table. The man never appeared unnerved, and it bothered her. And he had nice feet, which annoyed her more.

  “I’ll be here long enough for the two of us to discuss what needs to happen now.”

  His eyes penetrated into her.

  She tugged the hem of her skirt lower on her thighs. Irritation clawed at her. She should know him some. After all, they’d slept together and created a baby. Yet, she felt like she’d never met him before yesterday. The difference wasn’t just his personality. His physical features too. Was it the strong set of his angular jaw? Maybe the slight curve of the bridge of his nose where it appeared to have been broken? Or possibly the thin white scar on his cheek marring the otherwise golden olive complexion?

  The area between his eyebrows crinkled. “You aren’t going to get sick are you?”

  Jasmine pulled herself out of her perplexing thoughts and gave her head a quick shake. “Please stop asking me that. I’m fine. I…let’s just get this over with.” She smoothed her clammy hands down her legs. “I’m not asking for money, or even responsibility or obligation. I just want to make that clear. I want nothing.”

  Rubbing his clean-shaven jaw, he kept his e
yes in a probing stare on her. He was a cautious man, obviously. That hadn’t been her first impression of him during the interview for the magazine. He’d seemed more free spirited. “When a woman hunts a man down, corners him in the restroom and later breaks the news that she is carrying his child, well, it would seem to most people that she wants something.”

  She swept a lock of hair behind her ear. “I guess my approach was a little awkward. It wasn’t any less awkward when you pretended you didn’t know me. You seemed pretty good at indifference.”

  “Awkward?” His brow shot up in accusation. “I’d say downright over the top. You caught me off guard and I was preoccupied, not indifferent.”

  Feeling her cheeks heat up, she moistened her lips and took a deep breath. “After the way you left me–”

  “Left you?”

  “In the middle of the night? The note you’d left–it was egotistical and rude.” Laying her palms in her lap, she noticed that she trembled. She threaded her fingers so he wouldn’t see. “Sure, we weren’t expecting it to lead to anything, but things happen…it did. Although you did make a small promise–”

  “Promise?”

  “Are you going to continue to repeat everything I say? I am speaking English.” She snorted in frustration.

  “I’m not a promising sorta guy. Or a marriage type, either.”

  Squinting, she wondered if this was his way of testing her. “You told me that you wanted to take me to breakfast the next morning and then we’d part as friends. Not marriage. If you think I’m here with plans for a relationship, you’re mistaken. In fact, I wouldn’t have gone to breakfast with you even if you’d followed through.”

  “That’s not a promise,” he said.

  “Of course you’d say that,” she snapped.